F.O.

I’m determined not to sleep sad, frustrated, pissed, over analyzing why you did just what you did. I can’t seem to to find my keys so I for the nth time I’m settling with this. Writing. Stabbing my keyboard with my big hands which will never get a hold of you. I’m okay Ralph, really, I was. For the longest time I could not be bothered by you anymore. For months now, I have conveniently lived my life in a monotonous, routinary boring way but unappalled by you. Sure you we were not completely out of the picture but you weren’t the picture anymore. No one is, and I like that, I was contented with that. I have fully accepted that you are someone I will keep in memory, some of the people I will fight the hardest just in case in the future I suffer from memory loss. I’m determined like that but it will stay there, just liek that. You will stay like that, a memory. Yes there FB chat, rare SMS exchange, unrequied GMs from both sides but that was it. The power of those mediums between you and me has ended in the same way analog phones, telegrams, B&W- Dial TV has exited the lives of mankind and crept themselves in Museums where people who would want to live the past would visit. You were like that to me Ralph, Everytime I thought about you after the gradual, painful, unsaid untying of whatever it was between us, was a deliberate effort. And that was good because I only remember the good times and didn’t hurt. I have succesfully brought back my senses, my heart finally caught up with my brain, that is. But one phone call from a number that I don’t recognize crumbled my wall I carefully built with all the pieces I’ve picked up when you left and never came back. And I wonder, why would do that? Why would you take pleasure in hearing me like that? I hope you are happy with what you did. I hope you were happy looking at your phone with my name calling and pick it up, I hope you find extreme joy in answering but pretending to ask who I’m looking for. I wish that you experianced Cloud 9 by telling that you are in the same city as I am but you didn’t come to see me. Thank you for that. Now, you can leave and don’t come back. Not even with a phone call. Bullshit.

Yes, I have a chronic disease of shutting down on people. Of shutting them down. Paralyzing every possible neuron that would try to understand or tolerate after I said my piece. And that's wrong. This has to change. BLAH! *pissed big time*

miss-es. :D

I miss a LOOOOTTT of people right now. Or more likely the past few months. :D And one of them is:

Mamey Christine Querubin. I just finished reading the entries from her blog. I left out 2 or 3 entries for the time that I should be reading it at my most comfortable and relax state. :P I just miss the many times Tinee and I would have the deepest of conversations ever. And this conversation would be start out sooo random, about this new movie, about what this known person said about this and that, about the new issue in the administration, about this cute little notebook thats he saw online and these could be anywhere. In the kiosks near SACSI office, MassComm RTV, Consejo, college garden, backfield, their place, anywhereee!! :D I just miss those. :D It's amazing how when we reach at that point of the conversation, I feel like I'm entering into a whole new realm of philosophies, emotions and dreams of Mamey. She is one of the most intelligent people I know. Both street and book and now yes, the new media. :P I knew from a friend that the interview for those who are applying for Valedictorian and Salutatorian would be later when the sun arises. I really hope Mamey would ace the interview, I know she will. :D Godbless mey! Love you! :D

And oh also! Whether she likes it or not. SHE will always be my first drinking buddy. :D I miss our weekdays no fail beer induced nights mey! :D

i feel...

If someone will ask me now(3:43 am, feb 2, 2011) how am i. I'd be totally honest and tell that person that really.. I'm both happy and sad. That sometimes I get to think that I could be slightly crazy, yes. For the past months, I have been all over my left and right chambers, cerebral complex and involuntary muscles and things in my body that I really have no business talking about. One moment, I'm laughing like it's the laugh I'll ever have to laugh and when I'm alone thinking that I'm enjoying my me-time when somethings like a song, a phrase, a text and chat messages, a whole lot of things that meant nothing before suddenly hits me home. And there goes the nerve that will send the signal to every lobe of my body to break down and cry. For quite a time, when this crazy set-up was beginning I thought that it's okay. I thought this was something I should go through because many years ago I resolved to not deny myself into feeling or experiencing something, I won't deny myself of the pain or happiness, no more suppression or delay of emotions coz neither makes the situation better only worse which locks you and make you feel like you're doomed to be there, like there's no escaping hell.

And I don't want this anymore. I want to stop this lethal phase because it's literally eating up me and the things I stood for before. There's nothing more in the world ( aside from graduating, of course) that i want now. I wanna stop feeling, feeling anything. If that means i have to stop being genuinely happy then fine. I'm soooo willing to forgo all the genuineness of my laughter, smile, and all the other manifestations of being happy. SERIOUSLY. I'm too tired feeling, i wanna go back to my old self. I wanna feel nothing to anyone. I wanna stop feeling kilig, tampo, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g! I just wanna stop and leave everything. i wanna be numb again, I wanna go baack to the kaye I knew had no trouble dealing with. I wanna have that over towering walls again. I need to rebuild my defenses so that there'll be no humpy dumpy or king's horses and men to make it across. I wanna have that instinct that every time I feel anything for anyone I subject to being null, void and absofuckinglutely funny and easily dispiensible. I have that kaye again. I wanna be the you i loved despite being everything that I wanna be now. i really wanna be like you.

COPA AZUL!

Okay, so now I'm broke!!! HAHAHA! It's Tueaday and allowance was given last Sunady and I'm already broke. :D Uhm, I wouldn't even run down the things I bought which I know are necessary (because father would most likely disagree) that drained my wallet. HHEHE! :D And since I already stated that my entry would be about COPA AZUL, we have to be consistent and able to tie things up without discussing unnecessary ones.


BROKE-ME-joining Copa Azul- Reg fee - contribution of 120. D: However am I gonna come up with that amount today!? I think I only have 27 pesos in my wallet and I'd like to believe so because if it's any less? I might as well go home and sleep and think of another excuse or alibi or reason(this is more logical statement so I'd go for this). So yes, reasonSSS to ask for extra money to last me till the weekend. HAH! I've already devised opening statements to tell Papa but.. uh-oh! I feel guilty and it might not work. HEHE!

Anywaayyyy, so I've been wanting to play soccer since Atfest ended and then there was this Rexona Cup which I wasn't able to join because I have to be home for the Christmas Break, a part of me was happy because I didn't have to brave and kick and run and breathe and most of all scratch my entire body because of the scorching sun anddd.... I didn't have to deal with statements like "Ohhhh.. you got tanned!" and "ni-itom kagi ka?!" anddd "hoi! negra!" anddd "I didn't have to ask myself "KIrara?" but still! I love playing soccer, so I've realized it when I ended my teen years. So what? Nothing's too late for something you're passionate about right? RIGHT kayers!!! No shoe of hands for those disagreeing? NO! Okay. Let my blabber proceed. HAH!

I can't say much about COPA AZUL except from what little knowledge I have, It's a soccer league sponsored by the Ateneo Futbol Varsity and now on its second or third year, it has opened its gates for the women! Don't we just love that?! YES WE DO and so the SLA team of Atfest are joining. Sadly, some sisters won't be able to join coz they have loads to do for school. same here (thesis, docu for philo, comm plan for PR, 5 case studies for ethics, we still dunno what for MEDIA MANAGEMENT) BUT since we're suckers for soccer, we are pushing through with this and we'rte kicking balls again!!! Okayyy, I know that your eardrums are bleeding now for my excessive use of exclamatory and capital letters, but man!! I just can't hide my excitement! Gotta clean those spikes soon! :D and imma post photos of us during Atfest to give you a glimpse. And now that's the ring for my RS Class, the most boring and non-sense class today with mr. Flores who laughs at his own jokes and thinks he's a good public speaker! What the?!?!?! I hope this fulfills my happy antry promise. More to come soon! :D


'

blog

Structural relationships of music and images in music video

Alf Björnberg (1994).



Popular Music, Volume 13,


Issue 01, January 1994 pp 51-74



http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?aid=2640060

a happy entry soon! :D

will post a happy entry soon. i just realized that I only blog when I'm pouring things that usually can't say even to the people i'm most confortable with and that's soo unfair and that'll make me look like a really really sad person when I'm not. Okay, I'm both sad and happy but I'm too blessed with great friends and a loving family to delve on all the negativity that tries surrounds me. hahhaa! that is why, i'm promising that I'll try to post happy entries soon! I hope we're all pushing for COPA AZUl I really wanted to play football again for so long. :D FUTBOL my love!!!

Today I cried. I cried because Jeco and I fought again. About something we always used to have a row about. He used my toiletries when I more than a thousand times more than clearly stated, reminded and told him that I don't want anyone using my toiletries. Facial wash I would forgo, toothpaste fine, shampoo okay but MAN! MAN! My soap?? Okay I know that soap have this substance that makes them clean no matter what and how they look like. It was something Arlyn told me years before. (She was a Medtech student and I was Freshman in nursing and now she's working as a MedTech and now I'm dying to finally get my Diploma from MAssCOm.) 15 more minutes into my shouting and telling Jeco stuff that I know would him. He finally threw things. And I really couldn't be bothered except for when he threw his lotion it hit me and I got hurt and threw it back and he almost punched me and then I cried when he left for school. See, this is a very typical scenario of me and my brother and a bigger part of me believes that this is okay because we are growing up and soon very very soon I hope I won't have to put up with all his imbecile, inutile, nincompoop way of life (okay I know this isn't a very sisterly way of describing him but I loovvveeee him to bones even when more than these will happen). Anyway, when I was already crying I realized I wasn't crying because I got a bruise on my knee anymore. I cried when suddenly it hit me in the middle of my suppressed sobs and overwhelming hurt I was crying because I have to pretend that you and I never happened. Because everyday is a struggle that I have to overcome that those months, those messages, those verbal volleyball, all those didn't matter. When the truth is, for so long it mattered to me when it never mattered to you. For so long I hoped that you'll realize it was something. For so long I waited for you to finally come to terms that we could be. And after all those waiting, whining and forgetting I've moved on. And realized that we could never be but this is only me. I need you to tell me that we never happened, that we never could be, that what we are now, where we are now is where we were headed ever since that first night you said you'd never forget this.

rrr.

So this is how it feels. This is how it feels like to be wanting, needing and missing someone and not being able to tell the person.

late, i know

Dear Francis,

I miss you. I miss the kitikitext days, weeks and months. When we never ran out of things to tell each other even if we knew how routinary our lives were then. I miss you. I miss laughing alone in front of my friends because in the middle of our exchange of texts you blurted out something funny, because you told me something you did that was totally hilarious, because you’re being an asshole or just because. I miss you Francis, I never thought missing someone this much could be possible or could happen to me with you. I miss you. I miss not sleeping till the last energy of my body knocks down because we spent the whole day texting, I miss sleeping thru our exchange, I miss you calling me out on a “K.O.” coz I slept on you while texting. I miss you. I miss worrying whether or not to load. I miss the tingles you send thru my spine when out of the blue you say something that is soo un-you which by the way swept me off my feet, held me breathless for a couple of seconds, held me still in the middle of nowhere. I miss you badly and I know this wouldn’t change a thing. This wouldn’t change how we are now. I don’t know what exactly did we have. Or did we ever have something that we can call was ours alone that time or I’m hoping, wishing and prayng till now. I know that even if you read this now, you will laugh this off. I know because you asked me several times before and the coward that I was could never bring out the words, the coward took over and confronted you with he Liz who only wanted to get away from that conversation and I’m sorry. I’m sorry coz I never told you how I really felt or I was too late to realize that I have fallen for for you. I was too afraid. Too afraid that you didn’t feel the same. Too afraid that everything was a joke to you, as always. That I was a joke to you. And now I guess I don’t really care. And now I wish that you knew. I wish that between those months of constant communication it crossed your mind that you are special to me and that I love you. I hope you hold on to that guess. Coz it’s true. I love you Francis and I know you will laugh on this. I wish you realize that I felt that way between those months. Hello, you’re the only one I allowed to call me by my second name. You’re the only one I spent hours and hours texting with. To the extent that I even volunteered to be your “karamay” during your insomniac nights. And you actually know how much of a sucker am I in sleeping. You even called “sleep queen”. I miss you calling me out on names I never knew existed. I miss you trying to piss me off. I miss you Francis. I miss being called “Liz”. I miss the “muah”. I love you and I don’t know if you feel or felt the same or if you ever felt something for me. I miss you and this is the best and worst feeling I felt for the past months. I miss you, I miss being happy because of you. Because I know you’re there. And I know it’s not the same anymore but I still wish you would know. I love you Francis.

Liz

dear you.

i'm crying like crazy right now. i hate myself sooo much it feels like I never felt this way before to anyone who has wronged me. not even you. and I need you to be here. I really really do. I need to see you. I have to hear your voice. I need that silent stare you give me. I just need you right now Myke. I'm falling into pieces again and this isn't about him but pretty much something you've always known about me. Something I told you some 5 to 7 years ago. I hate to tell you this but these are the same issues you used to comfort me before.

>As promised to Michael (yes, my ex) before he went back to Manila after the break that if I ever get to recover this entry it would get published. And as I warned him, I didn't finish this entry because while I was doing this I was crying and since writing/blogging to me is a relief I stopped when the tears stopped falling. :D

P.S. I wish we don't have to be very honest or vocal with each other. It's crazy how there is zero amount of awkwardness between us. I'm not saying that it's required because the society of exES dictates so but you know, okayy.. I can hear you say "So what Kaye? What is this fuss about? HAHA! " It's just that there should be. But I think it's full of drama and we both are allergic to that. So, yes, we are okay. :D And I'm happy with it.

hijacked by the president

Lala and I are attending the conference which our teacher required us to attend and coined as "Hijacked by the President". This could have been a relevant topic had he NOT been the speaker@ MY GAHD!!!! RH Bill! I can see some more sensible Philo and RS teachers who could better discuss this even in the class in the vicinity. Ofcourse now the classic docu of the "Miracle of Life" . Seriously Man, this is in NO WAY can called a forum. He's the only one speaking and we are in the Sacred Heart Chapel. HAH!! I'm sooo sck of this docu, I'e watched this twice way back in 2006 when I was still the struggling, grumpy and frustrated Nursing student in SU. GAHD. I watched this twice, first was for Gen Psych and the secondwas for Bio33. DUH! And he even probed the audience to answer his question earlier with the clue as "a tadpole looking" ! Seriously!??! Oh well, we won't be seeing him tomorrow for our supposedly class schedule. Good thing. I really wanna leave now but ugh, Yabz chose to sit beside the Beadle so... Yo figure. Anyway, babush!!! :D

For once.

For once I want to stop analyzing, assessing and rearraging my thoughts about us because it makes me sick to the stomach trying to justify to myself why we had to leave each other hanging there.

nyek! :D

Today I realized that when you decide to stop hurting each other, loving each other more doesn't always follow. hai. :/

cdo

It's almost 4 in the morning and I still can't bring myself to sleep. I had to be ready by 7 am later because we (me and Heidrian) have to leave CdO by 9am or earlier. Today(yesterday rather) was a day of i-cant-point-a finger-to day. And I mean this is a liberating day. :DDDD
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sick to my stomach now and like I told Adrian -i dunno why-. Could it be that I think I spent more than I should (not really, hehe.) ? That we had super uber duper late lunch (which by the way wasn't so good I think but oh well the place looked really nice so sige ya lang)? (4pm) late even for merienda. That I think too much lately? That I cloud my head with things that should and shouldn't be there? That we watched Sayo Lamang which made my friend cry every 10 mins and me for the rest second half of the movie? Or was it because what I have seen that was not any less unreal now than it was just over a year ago or so? Then boom! like one big ball of fire which you will have NO idea came from will come across you and stare at you saying "ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY" man this is sooo real so get a head on! Which makes me sad a bit but not really coz I still feel glad about them. How things changed and how it tries to get better on one side. hai. D: GAHD! Or my big nostrils inhaled too much oxygen taking its toll to my stomach by stacking up there. HAI! Or could this be the result of taking vitamins and meds(mefenamic acid which I'm theorizing caused my uber yucky urticaria all over my face and neck area! ) in short intervals today? HAH!!! come on Man, I seriously need to get to one thing. Just one thing to reveal to me among those I've mentioned above or even none of those. I just need one! ONLY one then I guess I could drag myself to sleep! Anyway, it's amost 4 am dawn and I've set my alarm by 6 so that we could do everything we have to do before leaving. I.E. ----> B pastel for the people back home who are somehow led to believe that anyone who goes to cdo must bring pastel when one gets home or just don't go home at all. HAHAH! :DD except for our folks of course they wil always want us around. Going back, I think I'm gonna pass on sleeping today coz I still have to be up by 6 and the Emperor (AHAHH! Yes, there are too many names here) told me to wake him up by 7 and by then it was very clearly he said that I should have taken a bath by then already so that we could by 8 to buy Pastel and head to the Bus Terminal so that we could ride the earliest bus we could reach for Pagadian. hmmmm..... I'm not sooo sick to my stomach anymore. I'm not burping as much now and duh! I think I'm still gonna sleep! hahaha! :D
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On sleeping. I have been in one room for the past few days with two of my guy friends because we participated at a debate competition here in CdO which I think in my not-soooo-humble opinion, we fared or the guys (Myser and Adrian) fared really really well. They impressed, wowed and gained praises (i.e. outfit since opening night, hehhehe!) the Chief Adjudicator Woman of the World no less than Danielle de Castro. Back to sleeping. Amongst us three, I sleep the latest and wake up the latest too so basically I see them asleep and MAN! What a site to behold! Not that they look funny or anything. It's just that when you look at them sleeping it feels like you are outside the nursery for the newly born only our room is smaller and the bed is bigger and also there's no glass to veer me from them. They look like babies. SERIOUSLY! (although I know Heid will completely disagree with me on Mys looking like a baby when he is asleep but I'm just sooo sure) They sleep so peacefully that you would think they are having their first dreams ever as babies. hahah! they are that cute. Amazing how they don't in any way distort their faces when they are sooooo into the DREAMLAND. Does it take practice? I really don't know and I haven't asked them too. I would have love to prove it by posting photos of them sleeping cause I have them. BUT! They might kill me! On the other hand they wouldn't this anyway. ahhahaha! :D I'm really sleeping now At last I don't feel sad anymore. Singing on my head " Put a smile on you face. Make the world a better place (Insert note icon here, hehe!)" Imma na sleep now! :D

sudden rush of P.I. ness!

Here I go again. I don't wanna write about you Myke. I didn't want to write about you anymore for the longest time that I have been blogging. But yesterday when out of the blue Hazey ( myfriend, I think you met her when you were still here. yes, that pretty and nice girl :D) told me that she checked out my blog and really liked the entry that was meant for you but I knew you will never get to read, I.. I dunno. I went out of my senses again. AGAIN by you, by anything that resonates about you and me. And it makes me sick Myke, It makes me feel like I never really got to where I was suppose to be when you left, when you CHOSE to leave because you think it's for the best. Because you BELIEVED it was what WE needed but you never really asked me what I needed. It makes me sick, makes me wanna puke at myself. I checked the entry and oh MAN! OH MAN it absofuckinglutely dragged me to those days again. Those days when I didn't know where to start, how and why should I start fixing myself and get a move on, not necessarily get over you because then, many years ago it seemed impossible, it was like building castles in the sky. The thought of getting over you was like removing a part of me, in a literal sense it's like getting me amputated. I didn't want to get over you Myke, I never wanted to. And , and I don't wanna finish this entry anymore. Coz every word only takes me two steps back to where we were before, to the memories and I HATE IT! I HATE IT coz it's unfair and I don't wanna be the one to take all the bitchiness of the world anymore. Between the two of us I felt like I was the one the world have been throwing its punches to when it realized how much MESS we made out of breaking each other, not jut each other's hearts. Because honestly Myke, it wasn't just my heart that you broke. It was the Kaye that I've made myself to be, to last with Myke for as long as we live. And I wanna end this entry by telling you that.

LOST.

I really don't know what to write about now. Meaning, I don't know where to start and what to start with. I don't wanna rant but I feel like I'm going there now. At the rate of my confusion on what and how to feel right now, I know I will be ranting the following sentences.

I have four articles to write for our SLA publication proposal. In our PR class of 14 students and one beautifully crazy teacher (Sir Kiko Miranda), we have this 3 cycle challenge to come up and present PR Strategies for the campaign to boost the School of Liberal Arts to which MassCom Department belongs. ANYWAY, first challenge was to come up with a brochure with the goal of boosting the morale of the SLA students. We lost. That was okay since we didn't really hit the target and the group who won, really really deserve it. Second challenge was the poster. We lost again. Okay, BUT not really. The point system of the previous 2 challenges were kind of inconsistent. I'm sure most if not all in our class would agree. This is a non-issue really coz oh well, they deserve the win of second and first. Since the winner of the 3 cycle challenge will have 100 as in 100 as their final grade for the Midterm Exam. MY GOSH! :D That's practically 2/3 of your Midterm grade and 1/3 of the final grade. And since we lost the first two challenges, we have to super duper uber double the effort to come up with an extremely WINNER SLA Newspaper. There are only 4 of us in the group and seriously only 3 are working as a team and for the team. GAHD. Going back to the articles I have to write which not even one of them do I have my head on where to start. I really dunno! D:

1. Buwan ng Wika (Absolutely LOST! NO idea at all! ALL I know about it now is what everyone who studied in the country knows about it. AND that the winner for the Choral Speech last year is the class where a friend belongs.)

2. Something about INTS (International Studies, I've already set an interview with Ma'am Ruth tomorrow which I hint will turn to be a chikathon, hahaha! )

3. SLA Acquaintance Party (I super enjoooyeeedd!!!!! :DD *still grins* )


4. OJT experience. (Lemme get this clear, I LOOOVE my OJT experience. I adore my employer companies; Manila Times, ABS-CBN >> TV Patrol and DZMM Manila. But Man ohh Man, I've already outgrown writing OJT journals. I mean after 2 summers, 3 media outfit, 3 different call times, 3 different bosses, I've really totally moved on from my OJT journals. GOSH! And here I am again. Will try to gather all my objectiveness of all that happened. hayyy..

THESIS: A Content Analysis on the Occult Symbols
found in the selected Music Videos
of Lady Gaga

Wheeewww!! :D I don't wanna rant about it now. MIGHT. NOT. END. >> the ranting.


hmmmphhh.. There! I think and feel that I've released a good amount of negaNESS.
Thank you blogger that you exist!

and by the way, the publication will have to be presented by MONDAY next week! that is 4 days from now. Lord, help us. PLEASE. :D

just in :D

I know this isn't a very nice follow-up of a blog entry. But I just have to let this out somewhere. I posted this a while back in FB but the moment it reached the news feed of a friend, he PMed saying it wouldn't make things better. I wieghed in less then 3 minutes and then conceded. He's right. thnak you Heid. and then I realized that my main contention in writing the post was just to let the feeling and what I thought about it OUT. It didn't necessarily have to be Facebook where almost everyone is kept tab on almost everyone in their friends list too. So I figured since I have a blog and I'm the only one who's conscious of its existence then I got an outlet right here. :D
Note: the following entry is my reaction to what happened and not in anyway a repitition of story-telling of what happened. In the future to make things clearer, I will spill it out here. Yes, including the details. :D

Thank you.


And also, what I wrote can't be copied and paste. I decided to take a picture of it as what I saved in my documents.

Brighter than sunshine

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
and it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

I got a feeling in my soul ..

So this is one of my all-time favorite songs. Don't get me wrong here, I am not in any intimate boy-girl relationship right now or for the past 3 years since then but I really really love the song. I'm sharing this because I'm a kind of none-favorite type of person. Meaning, unlike most people who have favorite color, favorite food, favorite singer, favorite cartoon character etc, the list goes on. I'm not inclined to having favorites in almost every little thing. Except for this song! My Gosh! I can't and will never get over this song. I can listen to it for the rest of the day even if it means I will have a herd time dozing off to sleep. Rest of my life even! Seriously! Actually I'm listening to it while writing this. I can't even put a finger on why I L-O-V-E this song. Kaye loves this song. This is THE favorite among the roster and type of songs that I listen to. I won't even enumerate the reasons why I'm just head over heels about this because even if I do and the list will go on and on and on like that it wouldn't suffice the reason behind me LOVING this!

Oky, I'll try.

1. Brighter than sunshine.

>> The title for me is so cool! It gives the feeling of unlimited limits! Right? What could be brighter than SUNSHINE??

But still, it's more than the title.

2. The lyrics.

>> The lyrics is simple, innocent, straight forward ( in tagalog, "wala nang patumpik2 pa!"), and how do I say this? cute, lambing in a way of surrender.

More, more points coz this ain't just enough.

3. The Melody.

>> the development of the music is just right. Fitting, crisp, not too slow, not too excited to reach the peak, not too complacent either, just right for everything to blend in. GAHD! This is it!

4. The name of the band who sang it. (Is it a band? I'm not even sure.:P) AQUALUNG

>> Diba? It's sooooo COOOLLL!!!!

Anyway, I know the list will go on and still it wouldn't be enough to reason out why this song just makes me.. Oh well, me. :)) HAPPY!

RE. AGAIN. RESTART. REBOOTING NOW: kayewrayts

Me and YABZ. I will spill her name next time. For now, puke on these faces! HAHAH! :P

I don't know. I don't know so many things. I don't know so many things about myself. I don't know how to wake up early on a daily basis. I don't know how to doze off early enough to get a good enough sleep. I don't know why I am so lazy. ( Okay maybe I do, but my back-up reasons are just not enough.) I don't know why Pareng Antok seems to be avoiding me during the times when I am SUPPOSE to sleep because I have a 9am internship duty tomorrow. I don't why I seem to be having so much fun laughing. Laughing with other people, at other people, at myself and all by myself thinking of other people and thinking of my past-self. GAHD. and this! I don't even know why I'm continuing this silly,whimsical,child-like post when I know from the very first syllable this is already a totally new addition to my bunch of junky notes or thoughts. I don't know why I can't help but stare at people! I KNOW IT IS RUDE! But I just can't help it, I know I'm staring but I don't know that I'm so absofuckinglutely obvious that my Yabz is starting to think that I don't have social manners. (Ma, I know! I know that one of the most vital things you tried to impart to me when I was still your toddler was "manners" in so many sense. And I could still clearly remember that you told me it's rude to stare. I'm sorry.) So now, I don't really know how to do it but I will try to be very aware of my eyes' functions and directions at a given time so that before I my subliminal could psyche me into staring I already stopped myself CONSCIOUSLY. wooh! I'm ranting. THAT! I know. I'm ranting because I don't know so many things. I'm 20, turning 21 almost 5 months from now and I'm so full of this I don't know crap about myself. I don't why I'm stressing on this.

But there's one thing I know though.

(I miss blogging. NAKS! Palakas sa blogspot chuva! HAHAH!) I miss this!

And so I resolve.....

Even though I know I'm not a brilliant writer I will continue to write and write and write just like the old times. I don't even know if I can be called a "writer" in its strictest, purest, most understood and accepted sense but I will continue to use the power of the written word to whatever and however it will be useful to me and to the world. :P

Yes, I am a Rizallian. (Oopsss! not that "cult" for Rizal thingy okay?) I believe that the pen is mightier than the sword. I believe in the power of the written word. :))

So this entry is definitely a RESTART. Welcome me again! :P